One month...

It's hard to believe that today marks one month since Dad has passed away. It feels as if it happened just yesterday or a couple of days ago. Things are still so fresh. And yet, there are times that it feels as if it has been so-o long too. I don't mean that I've gotten "used" to his being gone, but just that it feels as if the pain has been that long. It's hard to know what to do or say or how to observe something like this. Just another day? Naturally, he and Mother are always going to be missed. And yet, they will ALWAYS be with us.

This is a picture that was taken when Dad and Mother went up to New York (in the arly sixties?) and went to the Latin Quarter, a now gone, yet famous nightclub. I'm pretty sure that Jean was old enough to "kid" sit me. I can only imagine the trouble I must have caused. Is this the time that my head was almost dunked in the toilet? Or, the time that I was making kiss-y noises behind the sofa or from the bedroom? Maybe it was both.

I don't mean or want this blog to be morose. Maybe it will just track how life does slowly move on. Slowly, pages will be archived and viewed only after much time has passed?

I called Jean today to check to see if she received an email from Fred. I called from the office and made note to her that today was "one month." As if I had to tell her. Tears were shed, but always good tears. The tears may be sad, but they are good because they continue to demonstrate the love the we have for him and how much he is missed and always will be.

The most recent memories are starting to allow other, more distant and happier memories to join with them. That's a good. I don't want to just remember what the last few months were like, although there are moments that I would never give up either. One recnt trip (Allison and Ben's wedding weekend, I believe) when I was leaving he grabbed my hand and held it to his cheek. It was the saddest and yet most cherished memory I will ever have. Words will never express what that moment meant to me. He's my father.