December 1, 2008

Wow! December already. What happened to Summer? Autumn? It just all seems to have gone by wa-ay too fast. And now, it's December, the holidays, and so much has happened these past few months. Fred and I spent Thanksgiving with Jean and Chip -- that was great! Naturally, sad, too, as it was what I'm calling the First of the Firsts. There have been other Firsts, but this is probably the most notable one. Christmas will be the hardest, I know and that will be rough. Being back at Jean and Chip's was great, as I said, but also, full of so many memories. The last time I was back Dad was alive and then there was his funeral service. Returning back brought back so many of the immediate memories. I hope they fade and that they are replaced with the more happy memories as time goes on. It's still so hard. "It" hits at the most unexpected times and when you're not prepared for it. I guess that never goes away. I don't want it to because of the confirmation of love that it represents. And, that can be comforting, but then, one can't live in the past either and I know that Time must march on. I brought my camera back with me, but didn't really feel like taking pictures, other than of Steve and Adriana's girls Avery and Olivia. Even those were really limited. It would just be a confirmation that Mother and Dad weren't there to have their picture taken either and that breaks my heart. I suppose that this grief will lessen? Will it? I can't imagine what Life will be like without Mother and Dad's presence. But, there IS Life, so I guess I just need to settle in with whatever that is. I don't know why I'm writing/posting this. Maybe because I feel that December 1 is some sort of milestone, although it isn't really.