Revelation and Excitement!

Monday, February 9th, marked Mother's seven month memorial." (What DO you call those dates/anniversaries???) Starting around Sunday afternoon, I could feel the real sadness and pain beginning to return. Monday was worse, but somehow I made myself get out of bed, dressed, and to work. I thought that Tuesday would be better, but it wasn't. In fact, it seemed to be worse. Plus, things at work were really hectic and didn't show any signs of the week getting any better. Then, late Tuesday afternoon at work, the light bulb went off and I realized that although I don't have total control over my emotions and where my thoughts may wander, what little control I do have over my grief and pain I do have some control. And, with that little control, I don't necessarily have to take myself to that "dark spot" in my brain and life. It helped. If I can consciously recognize that I am starting to go to that "dark place," I may be able to re-direct myself to think of other things or maybe even happier thoughts and times. Naturally, with that comes the bittersweetness of those memories, but they aren't so dark. So, maybe this is some movement towards getting those "dark periods" to become a part of my being and not living on the surface of who I am. That's not to say that there aren't times that the tears come -- in fact, this morning as I awoke, I just was overcome with sadness and let the tears flow. But, I was also able to leave the darkest areas and get back to Life. Maybe this is some improvement? We shall see.

Naturally, both Fred and I continue to be so excited about the new house! Indiana does not have an "escrow period" and just has what they call "closing," which lasts one month. Talk about hurrying things along! So, we "close" on the house on March 16th. The sellers have asked to have two additional weeks, in order to give them more time to find their new home and to move, which we gave them, so actual possession of the house will be March 30th!

This morning it started to snow with about an inch of accumulation. It's been in our mind that we would need a snow blower since our driveway is much longer than our present driveway and knowing that the snow season was coming to an end, I was on the outlook for snow blower sales. Of course, that involved doing research (Consumer Reports and such) and found that the #2 rated blower and Consumer Reports' Best Buy was a Sears Craftsman model, which just happened to be ON SALE!!! So, this afternoon we bought the last one in the store. This is after two salespeople, including the department manager (!!!) told us that they were totally out and walked away from us. A third salesman came up to us to ask us if he could help us and said that they had "one more" in the back and went to check for us. Luck/Mother and Dad continue to be on our side when it comes to the new house and we have a snow blower/thrower. Hopefully, by the time we move into the new house, we won't need it until next winter, but the savings was impossible to pass up and we certainly have room to store it in the garage or the shed. In all honesty though....I am so-o done with winter. Come Spring! Come Summer! I am sick of bundling up to go anywhere. However, the thought that next year BOTH of our cars will be protected inside of our garage and we won't have to warm up the cars in the morning anymore is a wonderful thought!

A local furniture store had a 50% coupon in the paper on home accessories, so we went to check it out. Well, "furniture" store is hardly what I would call them and their accessories were not to our taste. So much for 50% off! Even if it were 90% off there was nothing that would even tempt us. Plus, since we are moving into the "grownup" house now....we want what we get to be "real" and "good." The Petco in town was having a sale on dog beds and knowing that the floor of the studio/basement of the new house is tiled and cold, we took advantage of a clearance sale there for one dog bed for Johnny, figuring that C.J. would prefer having a crate (which Johnny has never used) in the studio.) Naturally, we bring it home and C.J. has taken it over and Johnny is still without a bed. Hopefully, they will still be on clearance tomorrow and we'll pick up another one. Kids!

We saw "Doubt" later this afternoon. It had gone away and we had missed it while it was playing here in town, but it came back, I guess because of the Academy Awards which are tomorrow. It was good. I wish I had seen the play with the original stars, but still, it was good.
Tomorrow is the Auto Club 500 (a NASCAR race for those non-enthusiasts) AND the Academy Awards. It'll be great to watch both on the wide screen TV!

Dad's four month "memorial" is this Tuesday. The thought saddens me so much, as did Mother's "memorial," but somehow I'll get through it. The two of them are missed so much and it hurts so much, and yet, I never want that feeling to go away.